It’s been a while, but from time to time I am being reminded…
Like right now, on a plane back home, unknowingly picking the movie that will take me back to that day when you chose to leave without a warning. Or sometimes, randomly shopping and seeing that cartoon you were fond of, to thinking of coloring my nails, but won’t because you said I don’t look good with it, or when your song and the songs I associate with you play out of nowhere or from my playlist where I still keep that part of you (yes, I haven’t deleted them yet, nor will ever do), or just randomly popping in my head when I’m peacefully taking a shower or just doing nothing. It feels as if you’ll never ever let me forget.
I
liked you - way too much than I’ll ever admit to myself. I
never told you but you knew it anyway. Maybe it was the way I never knew you or the way I have always looked from afar that I found you
perfect. I never got to know the
entirety of you. Only the bits and pieces, but it was okay - I have grown to be okay with it. We became
really good friends, but I still looked forward to seeing you, more than everyone else, around the corridors of our university. Yes, it -
you - used to be my
highlight. The
only person I liked and didn’t tell him about it.
I liked the way you called me by a pet name, one you made that time we were hanging out in the library (for a reason I don’t even remember anymore). I have never seen you laugh that hard, to the point that you lost your balance and almost fell off the stairs. The last time you talked to me, even though we -
I - already knew for sure the we can never be, it was still the way you called me, and I will never forget. I wonder when or where will another person come up with that same pet name, but I won’t let him/her call me that anyway. It’s yours and yours alone.
I am sometimes starting to forget, but somehow the universe won’t let me. Will it ever let me? Will you ever
really leave me?
